Virtual Appointments on Zoom 

Couples Counseling

I believe that couples come to counseling together because they want to recover the joy they have experienced in the relationship. Conflicts may be hindering the relationship.
I have a lot of experience working with couples and have been able to help. I love to observe the re-emergence of the love and commitment that can seem to be lost at times.Many times couples (especially those with children and careers) have trouble finding time for nurturing the relationship. Simple practices can be learned to increase experiences of nurturing communication, physical touch, positive affirmation, and gratitude.

Developing an understanding of the differences in communication styles can be crucial. Often behaviors are not well understood because individuals interpret things differently. Goals frequently involve improved communication. I can help couples achieve these goals.Stresses can occur in life that create challenges for maintaining love and intimacy. Children,family and jobs can create new issues.

Sometimes people make mistakes that seriously damage the trust and love. Opening paths to forgiveness and acceptance can make things better. Addiction and substance abuse are a special kind of damage. Refer to my section on traumatized relationships.

Progress can be made by working on effective communication and accurate interpretation of behavior and motivations. Improved understanding can help re-frame experiences to more accurately reflect a partners motivations. Relationships go through stages through life and are affected by the influence and needs of other family members. Learning to understand and support each other during these times can make a big difference.

Communication, and understanding of differences are important benefits of couples counseling. The interpretation of actions can be misunderstood. For example, a man may believe his love should be obvious from his devotion to work, while the spouse may be experiencing abandonment or lack of love. Counseling can help clarify motivations. Often expressions of love may be interpreted as something else by the other party.

We no longer live in a world of clearly defined gender roles. How a couple is defining those in the relationship is important and often needs to be clarified. Gay relationships, for example, create a different set of presenting issues. Relationship “roadmaps” are not always so well defined. Sometimes the bond of the relationship can seem to be broken by the behavior of one party. The resolution of the conflict generated by such behavior may be important. Couples do not fit into categories although principles do apply including commitment, communication, and making a practice of nurturing the relationship are important.